Every single person on earth has a “what the heck is going on?!” feeling in their hearts, minds and bodies. We’ve never done this before, right? Here are some thoughts on what you may have experienced on an emotional level over this period. Then some suggestions about a way forward.
What has happened emotionally:
Shock, uncertainty and disbelief: One of the first realisations people have had was a feeling of shock and feel kind of shocked and disbelief. It was as if your brain just could not believe what it had just experienced! You could actually have been in denial at first, hoping that the viral outbreak will not reach your country. But over time, the virus has shown more of its colours and the reality could not be denied any longer. Amidst all of this, no matter how many posts and articles you read online, no-one could tell us exactly for how long we are going to fear this virus, when we will know that we have survived this threat or what our world is going to look like next year, after the storm has subsided – that’s really new and really scary to us.
Optimism and determination: This was (perhaps still is) a “Hey we can do this together” period. “Us against the virus!” You may feel united with everyone who is trying their best by obeying what they are asked to do. We feel united against a common enemy – something we have not felt before. This has also been good, right?
Frustration, depression and anger: You may have become very despondent or even angry for some time as you realised that you have been helpless to some degree within this situation. You may also have become aware of some personal losses and unique, unexpected challenges that you have had to deal with.
Acceptance and meaning making: This is when you are able to accept that there are some things you do in fact have control over and you focus on doing those things. It becomes meaningful for you when you feel good about taking up your responsibility and your contribution for the good of society.
Here’s what you can do:
1) Acknowledge what you are feeling:
Emotions are valid. Emotions are one of the routes our bodies have to make us aware of something we need to act on. Hear and listen to these messages and notice that you are anxious.
When we experience a collective threat, we collectively feel anxious – this drives us to seek safety in whatever manner we can.
2) Hold on to what you’ve got and what you do have control over:
As Marie Forleo tell us, everything is figureoutable! You will figure out how you can best deal with every aspect of this situation. You will draw upon your own-, your family’s -and your community’s strengths
3) Ground yourself physically:
When ever you feel your uncomfortable emotions, take five (or more) minutes to ground yourself. A good grounding exercise is to spend five minutes focusing on your senses. Take one minute for each sense, and explore (what am I feeling? What am I seeing? Etc.). This will remind your nervous system that you are actually safe.
4) Prioritise what needs to be done and what you have control over:
Act on each “must do” item, in small steps. You can’t control the fact that CoVid-19 has cost you a crucial opportunity. You can control whether or not you will lie in bed the whole day, or go for a walk. You can’t control it if you lose your job. You can control an application for help from the government.
5) Be kind to yourself:
You need some encouragement and compassion! Make sure you remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, in small steps.
6) Remind yourself of what you need emotionally and where you can find these resources:
Some of these may be your own inner strengths. Some may be asking help from someone else.
You may not know how to keep the kids busy with creative activities – use the Internet or friends to get ideas.
You may slip into becoming very lonely – make a list of friends and family with whom you can connect in different ways.
If you feel overwhelmed with fear and panic or become despondent, you may need to find an online psychologist or counselor. Your connectedness with other people is a resource of strength and support.
7) Remember who you are:
You will continue to live your life according to a set of values. This is what you stand for; this is what’s important to you.
Continue to be that person. Stay connected to who you are.